I’m on vacation, dangit. Signed off Tuesday evening. It took a while to actually disconnect – I still found myself absentmindedly loading up Slack on my phone and checking what messages and notifications I’d received. I managed to keep it to only a few times a day, at least, but still not exactly the sort of proper separation from work I was aiming at.
It’s now Saturday, four days later, and I’m only really starting to feel disconnected and unwinding now. I’m still wound a little tight, not going to lie, but I’m a little less work-brained, at least. I’m at Squam now, and it’s a reunion year, so the house is filled to the gills with cousins and aunts and uncles – I can hear folks playing guitar together in the other room, while I’m sitting out on the porch listening to the rain. (Despite the rain, I’ve still made a point of swimming each day. As long as it’s not thundering, swimming in the rain is actually kind of fun, it’s interesting to basically be at eye level with the raindrops hitting the lake.)
Since it’s a reunion year, I get to see folks I don’t see as often, and inevitably the question comes up of what’s new in my life and what I’m up to – one thing I sort of appreciate about my family is that when they ask that sort of question, it does seem to generally be about what you’re doing with your life, not necessarily what you’re doing for a living. (As a side note, I’m pretty sure most of my family only has a vague idea of what I do, basically just that it has something to do with computers.) I have some things to share at least, about the selling the house and the figuring out what to do next after that, but also reminds me just how much is up in the air. I genuinely don’t know where we’ll be in a year, let alone five. Not really even a plan, just some vague ideas. That is both exciting and a little scary when you think about it.
The priority has been on socializing with folks, but my social battery drains pretty quick, so I’ve also been ducking out to hide and recharge a bit like now. Something I appreciate about here is that’s actually pretty easy to do without it getting weird or having to find somewhere esoteric to extract myself to. That reminds me – because pop psych is always fun, there’s apparently a new “third” -vert option: there’s introverts, there’s extroverts, and now there’s otroverts. The Wikipedia page has a succinct description:
An otrovert is someone who identifies as an eternal outsider in groups, even when they are friendly and socially capable. Media descriptions of otroverts commonly emphasize emotional independence from groups, original thinking, low interest in joining or in adopting group rituals, and a tendency to seek depth in a small number of relationships rather than broad group belonging.
I took the test and it identified me as an otrovert. I’m not remotely surprised, but honestly I’m not putting much credence in it all, since frankly I feel like that definition basically just describes modern human existence – who doesn’t feel like an outsider in most groups these days? Anyone? Bueller?
I’ve been catching up on my RSS feeds, finally – I’m most of the way through March at this point. I thought about just declaring feed bankruptcy and starting from here, but I don’t want to. It’s a nice way to find out about cool and interesting new projects, which makes me feel at least somewhat connected and clued in about what’s happening out there. Even the more inane posts still feel like at least a reminder that there’s other humans out there, and that what I’m reading feels vaguely organic and not prepackaged. I might be in the minority, but I’m sick of Content™. I’d rather get what someone wants to share and talk about as a person, not as a personality, and while I still respect professional writing and journalism quite a bit, when it crosses into feeling like talking as a personal brand, it’s started to feel increasingly gross.
But that’s just me, and maybe I’m just in a Mood.
