36.

I turn 36 today. It sort of broke my brain to realize that it’s been 18 years since I was 18 (I’m an age of majority past being the age of majority). It’s made me think about what I’ve managed to create or do with my life. My depression-brain immediately went to “you’ve made nothing,” but that’s the depression lying, because that’s what depression does. It’s my birthday. Let’s try and do better. What have I done with myself since I turned 18? Continue reading “36.”

It’s the End of the Year!

What a year. It’s pretty easy to look at 2016 as a year full of doom and gloom (a super partisan and frustrating election cycle with a terrible outcome, many deaths of cultural and scientific icons, increasing tensions all over the globe, et cetera… the list goes on for a while), but there’ve also been some really good things, too. I suspect the year will be remembered for being shitty for a lot of people, but it’s important to not neglect the good that came too. Continue reading “It’s the End of the Year!”

Depression and Me

I’ve referenced depression a number of times on the blog and elsewhere: it’s not a secret that I’ve been suffering from depression for a long time. Of course, while I say it’s not a secret, some might still be surprised to hear it: at first glance, I might not come off as particularly depressed. There are a few reasons for this: first, I’m usually what’s considered a functional depressive (more on that in a second). Second, not everyone has the same understanding or idea of what to expect from depression. I don’t really blame anyone for that: there is very little general education about mental health issues, and how mental health issues present can vary greatly from person to person. Hence, this blog post: a little peek into my head, and how things manifest for me. Continue reading “Depression and Me”

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Back in Portland

It hasn’t really sunk in that I’m back in Portland — it still feels a bit like a vacation. This will change, I imagine, as I get more settled, get unpacked, and find what will be my new routine and rhythm.

The drive north was pleasant, wandering up the coast on CA-1 and US-101. There’s been a heat wave for the past week, so it was nice to be by the coast, where the air was much cooler (I’ll take 65-70° over 90-95° nearly any day). The rest of this post is a bit of a photo dump — I hope you enjoy! Continue reading “Back in Portland”

Sorry, I blinked

And just like that, it’s the end of August. The year has flown by (which is to say, I was aware of every excruciating minute of it, but once past the moment I’d say “Whoa, where’d the time go”). I’m currently writing from Squam Lake (as I’m fond of doing), where I’ve been for the past week, enjoying the peace and quiet and not-having-to-do-anything of it all. I get up when I want, go for a swim, and fiddle with what I want (rather than what I feel like I should).
Continue reading “Sorry, I blinked”